Uncategorized

Troy Montero and Aubrey Miles: A Special Blessing in Disguise

It was not easy for Troy Montero and Aubrey Miles when their daughter, Rocket, was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. But their honesty and transparency have enabled them to create a support community for other parents going through the same thing.

The story of Troy Montero and Aubrey Miles on Rocket first appeared in Modern Parenting’s 2022 print edition.

Despite the progress in conversations surrounding mental health and development in the country, a stigma still, unfortunately, persists regarding children with special needs. In the Filipino context, the term “special” can sometimes come off as derogatory instead of a unique condition affecting many kababayans. Parents of children with special needs may feel isolated because there’s the fear of their child being ostracized or judged. On the other hand, there’s the pressure that comes with accounting for the treatments, therapies, and information needed to give them a happy life.

Letting go of the guilt

Celebrity couple Aubrey Miles and Troy Montero are no strangers to this. When their youngest daughter, Rocket, was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), they faced a bit of a challenge. Aubrey recounts how she initially felt guilty about the diagnosis. ”Every mom na ganoon ang anak feels like sila may kasalanan, kasi nanggaling sa kanila,” she confesses to Modern Parenting. At first, she had wondered if it was because the couple conceived at an older age. Or because they were too physically active. “But the doctors said it’s not like that,” she explained. After all, what causes ASD has yet to be fully understood.

Despite this, the two were ready to take on what the diagnosis entailed. The couple already
had two sons before Rocket, so they had some understanding of what to expect. With the diagnosis, however, they had to make a few tweaks to their parenting style. “It changed all my do’s and don’ts [and] my style with my first two boys, [but for the] better. Kasi parang everything that I learned from my two boys, I got better [at it],” she shares.

Troy also recounts how they had to change what they do when they go out with Rocket. For longer interactions, the couple gives their guests or friends a bit of an introduction to Rocket’s condition, while for shorter interactions they do away with it completely. “[It] depends on the situation and everything, but it’s always good to be prepared” he says.

Troy Montero and Aubrey Miles

Sharing Their Struggles

When asked about what they’ve learned over the past few years as parents of a child with special needs, they talk about the importance of patience and empathy. Especially when it comes to knowing your child’s unique needs. “What works with Rocket, [such as with] the things that we do before we leave the house, we usually think of what food and toys to bring because we try not to give her sweets since that makes her more hyper [and] moody,” shares Aubrey. “And before we even go to a place, [we make sure] they have a [familiar] place [to go to] when [Rocket has] an episode or a tantrum.”

“It’s almost like we go to a new restaurant, or a new place, [and] we’re super alert when we come in,” says Troy. “We kind of have to plan out in case there is an emergency.”

One thing that did help with the situation was coming out with the diagnosis to the public. Initially, they wanted to wait a little longer before the announcement so they could educate themselves further on ASD. After the announcement, it became easier to talk about Rocket’s condition when they were out and about. “Since people here in the Philippines know us, [they] look at us and kind of know already since we’re quite forward [about Rocket’s condition],” Troy shares.

Moreover, the couple noticed that more people came to their platforms for advice on the matter. By being transparent on Rocket’s diagnosis, they were able to form a community for parents with special needs children. “When you have a [child with special needs], we listen to other parents too. Because we help each other,” Aubrey shares. “It actually works for us… when we listen or share our tips, or we get their tips too, it works.”

It also helped that their two older sons were very helpful in taking care of their younger sister. “The boys have been great about it,” says Troy. “They know what to do. When we sat them down and said ‘We think there’s something different about your sister,’ they told us, ‘No, there’s nothing different about her.’”

Troy Montero and Aubrey Miles' daughter, rocket

Finding the Silver Lining

Regardless, they’re thankful that the tides have turned when it came to dealing with these situations. Aubrey notes how in the past it was hard for parents to get information or help when it came to ASD. But with the advent of the internet and social media, information has become easier to find and research is more widespread. “Unlike before it’s harder to find [resources for people with ASD], or even to accept that their child has ASD,” she says. “[Back then,] you just want to hide it. Now, it’s okay to share and seek help or advice. People are more open-minded. And the more that we care, and the more that we make them feel it’s okay, other people become more open to talk about it.”

And while the diagnosis might have its challenging points, it’s something the couple is ready to take on. It allowed them to appreciate many more things in life. “Every day, [just seeing Rocket] waking up with
a smile,” Aubrey shares. “[Her] just staying healthy, nobody getting hurt in the house, nowadays, ‘yan yung mga wish namin.”

“[Rocket’s] little victories are all big wins for us,” Troy proudly says

Learn more about Troy Montero and Aubrey Miles:

Troy Montero and Aubrey Miles On Parenting Across the Lifespan

Troy and KC Montero on Dad Life, Brotherhood, and Raising Their Children in the Philippines

Order your Modern Parenting magazine's print copy:
Download this month's Modern Parenting magazine digital copy from:
Subscribe via [email protected]