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Is It A No Or A Yes: Can We Joke About Our Exes?
When married, exes stay an “x” because our partners are our “y”.
After netizens praise Matteo Guidicelli’s calling out of Alex Gonzaga for poking fun at exes and old flames along with his classy diversion, some are wondering if Matteo’s being too sensitive. But what are the lines and boundaries when it comes to talking about exes? Is it really something worth talking about? Most of all, may we even joke about our exes with others? Here’s why we’re talking about it.
What Do Others Think About Joking About Exes?
To see whether it’s acceptable or not, some netizens — both men and women — offered their opinion about it. Many mentioned that it would really depend on the tastefulness and classiness of the joke.
*All names are withheld for the sake of privacy.
“Depends on the joke.” – Daniel.
“It depends on how comfortable you are both with it. It also depends on how bad the breakup was. While personally, I would let my partner do so. But the opposite may not be true.” – Miguel
“I think it depends on the joke! Like if it’s the *kunwari may longing* joke, I think it wouldn’t be appropriate. But if it’s like “uy naalala mo ba nung ano kayo ni ex“, I think that one has more of a chance to be humorous and less of “oh no do they still have a thing for their ex”.” – Faith
“If my partner’s cool with it, fine. Personally, I’m not cool with it. But seeing that I derive amusement from historical jokes, I might as well do.” – Carlo.
“If it’s these types of poking at your ex where they’re not around to laugh with you, then I honestly wouldn’t make them. Ex na nga eh, if you’re not friends then don’t be petty. It also kind of makes you look like you didn’t move on.” – Rei
“If one of you isn’t comfortable about it, stop doing it.” – Dom
“No, I won’t let other people joke about it.” – Abigayle
The company also does matter when making the joke!
A new person or even one’s significant other (SO) isn’t a good audience for one’s jokes about their exes.
“In hindsight, talking to someone about your sexual mishaps (even jokingly) isn’t the smartest thing to do. After having with the context of our previous relationships with each other, there’s a line that you know where to draw when it comes to making those types of jokes or comments. I make ex jokes with my friends, but I wouldn’t as blatantly say them to my SO.” – Blue
“Depends on the friend group. If it’s a new person, definitely no.” – Kevin
Motive and Execution matter!
While some are okay with it, it highly depends on how well it was executed. Classy could be something like, “Remember that one time that was super funny that involved your ex?” Whereas something in bad taste sounds like, “Remember how much better looking your ex was? You downgraded.”
“Depending on how much in bad taste the joke was, I’d probably smile and wave, then either not talk to them for a month or forever… Well ok maybe not forever I’m personally too forgiving for that But I’d definitely lessen interacting with them unless they were a close friend who I can take aside and talk to one on one.” – Xavier
“Personally, the rule of thumb is if the joke was done to talk shit about your current partner or make them feel inferior then it’s not okay. At the end of the day, making comparisons (whether lightheartedly or not) can cause friction between people.” – Kim
“Both my exes are joke-worthy (within those specific contexts of being a user and being a snitch) and since that was pretty much the most notable thing I remember of them both. Pretty sure I’d laugh my *ss over it. But personally, as a guy with meh to just downright awful exes, this would be a good inside joke.” – Nat
“Personally feel like jokes about exes should just be kept to how you acted around the ex, but if it’s about the ex themselves then probs just not. Feels like it’s in bad taste.” – Andrea
“Personally, it depends on the joke. If it’s shallow lang and something I feel that my ex (if we’re still friends) would be able to joke about then it’s fine. But if it’s repetitive, done in bad taste, and jabs too much on a traumatic event/emotion then I wouldn’t allow it. The least you can do especially having broken up with somebody and respect him and what you had together (unless there was violence involved then it doesn’t garner respect).” – Kaelyn
Joking About Exes: You Can But You MAY Not
Just because people can make jokes about it doesn’t mean they’re allowed to. But some married couples do talk about their exes. Some see it as a form of trust. It’s their way of communicating their boundaries without being confrontational or aggressive about it. Other married couples do joke about it but it’s exclusive content for them. Nobody else can joke about it except them because they weren’t in the relationship.
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