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Krystle Dizon-Dehesa Is In Your Corner
Transformational Coach and mom of two, Krystle Dizon-Dehesa, is changing the motherhood narrative by reshaping the way mothers feel about themselves.
“She remembered who she was and the game changed.”
-Lalah Deliah
When we think about what it means to be a mama, a few words quickly spring to mind— self-sacrificing, nurturer, homemaker. All very good and noble, indeed, but one has to wonder, in this modern world, if this typical mommy rhetoric is an absolute standard that applies to all of us. Krystle Dizon-Dehesa is on a mission to normalize the various concerns of motherhood, and reassures moms that a little help can go a long way.
She’s the ultimate people-person
Growing up in sunny California, this former beauty queen has always had an interest in people. Krystle says, “My mom always called me tsismosa growing up, but honestly, I just enjoyed hearing about perspectives and other people’s opinions.”
With an affinity for human connection, she’s always chosen career paths that dealt with people, owning a food business and an events company before professionally pursuing personal coaching. Her experience with becoming a mom, however, is what really inspired her to focus on working specifically with other mothers.
“Understanding who I was, and overcoming my personal battles was tough to navigate on my own. I realized that we don’t have to, or shouldn’t have to do it alone. I am that coach telling moms that we are in this together.”
Motherhood doesn’t come with a manual
As Krystle talks about the spectrum of turbulent emotions that come with being a parent, she explains that even though it’s natural, it doesn’t have to be the norm. She adds, “Most people say that motherhood is hard because our kids don’t come with a manual. What they don’t tell us is that we don’t come with a manual either. We become so busy trying to keep up with everyone— partners, kids, friends. We end up completely neglecting ourselves. Our needs, our wants, our dreams, and so much more… they all end up taking a backseat.”
Having worked with a personal coach herself, she truly believes in the benefits of having someone in your corner. “A coach is just one way moms can gain support to tackle their struggles, normalise their emotions, and achieve their goals. It’s almost crazy to believe that this is something we have to do on our own.”
“You are being presented with two choices: Evolve or Repeat”
Parenting hardships is a conversation that rarely happens out in the open, but it’s slowly gaining more traction with the help of social media. As a pivotal moment in her own journey, Krystle recalls, “I realized I was losing myself and playing the victim. Not knowing which direction to take, and drowning with a million things on my to-do list was so difficult, but I didn’t want to ask for help. I was afraid of judgement, and I didn’t want to look like I didn’t have my life under control.”
When she finally decided to ask for help, she gained more clarity and began taking the necessary steps to overcome her fears. “I realised that no one was really holding me back, it was just me. I was so worried about so many external factors— what would people think if I admitted that I was struggling to keep up with the one thing that was supposed to come natural to me? Am I selfish to make all of this about me?”
Krystle confesses that being brutally honest and confronting her demons was painful, but it was an eye-opener. She shares, “I stopped looking within and never asked myself what I needed. I never asked myself what I had to do for me. I got to a point where everyone else came first, so I had no Idea what my needs even looked like anymore.”
Breaking the cycle
The mom of two had to ask herself, “Why was I stuck in the cycle of neglect and self doubt?” Her mental state was taking a toll and it directly affected everything around her, including her family. With self-reflection, she knew that something had to change, and that it started with addressing her needs.
“For the longest time, we didn’t have help around the house. I felt like I needed to do everything since my husband, Karl, was the one with a full-time job. But I craved work and accepted that I wasn’t less of a mother for not wanting to do the chores around the house.
I finally told myself (and my husband) that if it didn’t serve me, I needed to drop it— so, I did. I haven’t looked back since. This was also a plus for Karl because I wasn’t so resentful towards him for not helping as much as I used to expect him to. Total win-win.”
We all need a little help sometimes
When it comes to working with moms seeking guidance, Krystle always starts with a simple courtesy call. Initially getting to know one another gives each of them a better understanding of what to expect and allows Krystle to clearly pinpoint what she brings to the table.
Comparable to forming relationships, she adds, “Not everyone does this but I do suggest before you work with any coach that you request a discovery call. Would you lock in five blind dates with the same person without knowing if you vibe with them or not? Most probably not.”
She also clarifies that not everyone can be well suited for the same coach. Even if a life coach has done wonders for a mutual friend doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll work just as well for you. Your comfort has to be a priority, as Krystle mentions, “I can’t force anything that isn’t there. Remember, this is a service you are paying for as an investment for yourself. Invest in someone that feels right. I know that sounds vague, but when you know, you know. Energy never lies.”
Be who you needed to be when you were growing up
“I love it when a mom reaches that moment where they’ve had a huge realisation, and they begin to move with more intention and power. The transition is beautiful to witness,” Krystle shares as being the best part of her job. She also tells us that a lot of mothers approach her with truly heartbreaking stories, which can be hard to hear, but seeing the breakthroughs will always be worth it.
As self-serving as it may seem, looking for guidance is ultimately for those you love, as well. We can’t do our best for our families if we aren’t the best versions of ourselves— and for a lot of people, knowing where to even begin can be confusing. While there are forces that we can’t control, it’s in everyone’s best interest to focus on what we can work on.
“I constantly remind myself that my kids need me to empathize with them too. They will go through their own personal struggles, which hurts to even think about, but I have to understand that I cannot protect them 100% of the time. What I can do is make sure they feel seen and supported during these times,” shares Krystle. To be able to adequately do so, we must also find space for ourselves to have the appropriate frame of mind.
We’re all in this together
Women empowerment and the rise of the feminist movement has been around for as long as we can remember, and while so much has changed over the years, there’s still so much to be done. Krystle Dizon-Dehesa now works as a community-builder through an online platform and holds workshops for mothers in need of a boost.
Moms come in varying degrees of multifaceted women, each with their own unique set of values and goals. As an entire generation moves forward with more awareness than ever before, the state of modern motherhood is a larger conversation that needs to be addressed. As we all come together to build each other up, we have to remember that it’s just as important to work on our own well-being. Well, if a much-needed nudge is something you could use, Krystle is up to the task.
For more information check out www.krystledizondehesa.com or get in touch through her socials:
IG: @krystledizondehesa
FB:@krystledizondehesa
