When the going gets tough, even the tough can lose their cool. I can’t count the number of times I’ve found myself hiding away in the bathroom for a little bit of peace, or a chance to gain back some composure. It’s hard being on-call at all hours of the day (and night). In those moments where we feel like we’re about to break, it’s a huge relief to know that we can take a deep breath and call for backup—enter, the Mom Squad.
I discovered my Mom Squad a little late in the game because I didn’t know many moms when I had my first baby. It wasn’t until my son started attending pre-school that I met other moms that I could vibe with, and I’ll tell you right now- it makes all the difference in the world.
Having a core group of mothers, aka your mom squad, you can rely on is one of the greatest blessings in the world, and I’m here to tell you why.
Everyone needs someone they can vent to
Nobody understands parental woes like the ones who have gone down that same path. Need to vent about how annoyed you are with your spouse? Done. You wanna cry about how your kids are driving you damn near insane? Go for it. Do you have to yell about some inconsiderate asshole that ruined your day at the supermarket? By all means.
Everyone needs an outlet. We all need a confidante that isn’t our partner. Moms in your mom squad understand moms, and they know to spare the judgement.
They help you let loose
Your mom squad knows exactly what you need, and sometimes, you need that push to do something you would never consider doing otherwise. They can be the words of encouragement that you desperately need to let responsibility go- even just this once!
Take the night off. Leave the kids with Dad! Let’s do shots- at 1pm. Tell your family you don’t know what time you’ll be done (one time!) Join me at yoga. Let’s take our bikes around town! Order that milk tea!
Let your hair down, and have some fun.
You’d be surprised at the kind of relief this release will bring you.
Sometimes, we just need a different perspective
We all have bad days, and sometimes it’s hard to take yourself out of that situation when you’re trying to overcome it. When you see things from a fresh set of eyes, it might give you the incentive to understand it from a different point of view. Especially when it comes from someone (aka your BFFs from your mom squad) who has had a similar experience to what you’re going through. It’s important to feel seen, and it’s good to cover all the bases.
Who doesn’t love hand-me-downs?
These are not just material possessions. It’s love in physical form, passed down from one baby-hazed momma from your mom squad to another. They know how difficult it can be, and this is an act of showing how much they’re willing to help lighten your load. It’s a considerate and noble gesture, saving you money and valuable time in the process.
They share invaluable tricks of the trade
When you don’t know what you’re doing, or generally feel a little lost in the flow of motherhood, what do you do? You ask for advice from a mom friend.
Don’t know what’s for dinner? Ask a mom friend. What is this weird rash? Ask a mom friend (although you should really be asking your pedia). Is this normal? Sure, mom-squad approved! Should I do this? No, absolutely not. Stop it, right now.
Anything from increasing breast milk supply to not losing your mind with 5th grade math, nobody will understand your frustration better than a fellow momma from your mom squad.
They give you the hard truths
It’s not something we like to admit, but even we can be a pain in the ass sometimes, and we need a solid group of people to lay it on us. Hard. It can be something as simple as confiding in them about a dilemma and asking, “Am I the asshole?” in which your mom squad will reply, with no hesitation, that in fact- yes, you are. We all need a knock in the head every now and then.
On the flip side, we can also be our harshest critic. Sometimes, comforting words from someone else who knows exactly what we are going through is just what we need. Thanks, mom squad friends.
They are extended family by default
Not only do the kids grow up with other playmates, but you become family by extension. Your mom squad becomes your village and they will care for your kids like they were their own, as you would theirs. Knowing that there are people who have your best interest at heart is a lifesaver! They are there for support and encouragement, and the world ultimately becomes a better place when you have a circle that lifts each other up.
Finding the right Mom Squad doesn’t happen overnight. Just like making friends in Kindergarten, there’s some effort and commitment that needs to be made. If you’re bearing the isolation of motherhood, reach out to a fellow Mom. You never know who’s in search for support, and your Mom Squad could be well on its way to coming together.