Moms shouldn’t be shamed for doing these things.
When schedules are full and household management needs to be done, mom is always the person for the job. She knows where everything is: dad’s car keys, kids’ underwear, and maybe even the accounting book for the house. However, the mental load can make her forget a few things which sometimes, society shames moms for. Here are some things moms shouldn’t feel guilty for doing.
1. Cooking canned food
Not every mom has an inner Masterchef or has time to enjoy an episode from the Lifestyle channel. While kids are learning how to cook through Tiktok and YouTube, mom makes sure the house doesn’t fall apart when kids try to replicate said recipe. In her exhaustion, sometimes, she’d want something quick and fast like a can of Century Tuna or Spam just so she can get things done. Besides, it’s not as if the kids have it every day.
2. Preferring to work at home
A lot of companies want to restore working on-site because they feel that their culture has been destroyed by the pandemic or that it’s better for them to communicate. But moms probably benefited the most from the work-from-home set-up because it allows them to watch their kids and make money at the same time. So if a mom wants to work at home, that’s something we shouldn’t make her feel guilty about.
3. Dyeing their hair
Stress and lack of vitamins can cause grey hair, making us moms want to cover it. Some moms make other moms feel guilty for doing so because they should embrace their age. But not all moms want to wear their grey hair with pride. Some of them have premature greying which leads them to uncomfortable questions about their age.
4. Getting a tutor
Homeschooling can be a little exhausting and as working moms, some of us feel awful not being able to make the most out of our kids’ homeschooling. We moms sometimes feel guilty for getting a tutor, especially if it’s a topic that we took up before. But we have to remember the old expression: we’re not elephants! It’s not easy to teach something we learned 20 years ago.
5. Using gadgets to babysit the kids
Kids have a lot of energy and sometimes, moms just need that break. Even if it’s just for a good 30 minutes, having the kids watch TV for a bit while you take a break is okay. Some moms may feel guilty about letting a TV babysit their kids but we feel you. Kids, unfortunately, don’t understand the concept of personal space until they’re much older.
6. “Hating” their own kids
While we moms can never truly “hate” our kids, there are times we don’t like looking at them. There can be an underlying factor or, it happens because we get burned out. These negative feelings can crop out and there’s no need to feel guilty for having them. It’s why support groups are a must in being a mom. So long as moms don’t take it out on the kids and cope with it, it’s okay to have these feelings.
7. Struggling with how to use a computer
Not all moms are tech-literate and considering how fast technology evolves, it’s pretty hard to keep up. Some moms have it easier because their kids are in IT, gamers, or netizens. But if one’s learning alone, there’s no need to feel guilty about admitting that one is struggling. We’re sure there are other moms willing to pitch in.
8. Going to therapy
Sometimes, mental health issues can really mess with our way of life. Going to therapy and talking to a professional is something moms shouldn’t be made to feel guilty over. In fact, it helps them sort out whatever feelings they’ve had in the past that may be affecting their parenting now.
Mom guilt is real!
All of us have our own ways of being mothers. Sometimes, we’re quick to judge other moms who don’t do it our way. But the truth is, they’re probably struggling and going with whatever they can. They don’t need the additional mom guilt from other moms. What they need are other moms who understand what they’re going through so they won’t feel alone.