Moms and Dads

7 Ways Partners Can Support Moms with Postpartum Depression and Anxiety

by Gretchen Gatan Fragada
August 22, 2022

By showing love, understanding, validation, and support, partners can help mothers overcome their postpartum depression and anxiety.

More often than not, the shame and sense of failure when it comes to struggling with motherhood serve as a hindrance to seeking treatment for postpartum depression and anxiety. ⁠However, we need to change this way of thinking to improve the outlook — especially for new moms. And one way this can be done is for partners to show love, understanding, validation, and support.

No mom wants to go through postpartum depression and anxiety. When they do, they find themselves lacking interest and enjoyment in life. They also feel ashamed because of the idea that motherhood should only be a joyful experience full of love and connection with their children. So when that isn’t the case on some or most days, they feel like they aren’t good enough or not cut out to be a mom. And as partners, the last thing we want is for them to push down their feelings and spiral — or do something worse.

Doing these things can help out mothers with postpartum depression and anxiety.

1. Encourage her to take breaks

Most of the time, moms feel like they don’t need or even deserve to take a break. And that they should be tending to their baby 24/7. Volunteering to take the baby for a while and encouraging her to practice a bit of self-care in whatever form she chooses takes out the pressure and simultaneously allows you to build a bond with the baby.

2. Be understanding if she doesn’t want to have sex

Not all moms are ready to get intimate after giving birth nor will they have the energy to do it when they’re caring for an infant. If this is the case, assure her that you understand and that there’s no pressure. It will happen when she’s ready.

3. Plan a date or a JUNK night

Some moms tend to miss their old life before the baby and that’s okay. To help them adjust, it’s nice to plan a date or JUNK (Just Us, No Kids) night once in a while. Not only will it give her a break, but it will also give you time to keep the romance alive.

4. Help them get support

Because there’s still a stigma in seeking professional help, moms don’t feel the need to get support for their postpartum depression and anxiety. But if you encourage them and tell them that it’s a step they can take to get better, it’s an assuring feeling for them.

5. Be realistic about what time you’ll finish work

Whether you report to the office daily or work from home, committing to the time that you’ll be done can lift the heavy feeling on your partner’s shoulders. It gives them a ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ because having you home means they can take a quick break from the baby or get support from you.

6. Do tasks around the house without being asked

A mother’s mental load can be overwhelming to the point of crippling. But if you do tasks around the house without her having to ask you, you’re taking a lot of that load off of her.

7. Assure them it’s not their fault and they’re not alone

Again, no mom chooses to have postpartum depression and anxiety. It’s something that just happens beyond their control. So let them know that it’s not their fault. And that they don’t have to go through it alone because they have you!

Let’s start normalizing conversations about postpartum depression and anxiety!

Most of the time, moms don’t even know that they’re experiencing postpartum depression and anxiety. But by normalizing the conversation about it and removing the stigma surrounding it, mothers will no longer feel isolated, alone, and ashamed.